An M Rated Fanfiction
by Whirlpool of Madness
Summary: What happens when Bakura and Marik can hear the narrator? Complete and utter madness! Please Review.


A/N: So, I'm Whirlpool of Madness. Thanks for reading this. Reviews are deeply appreciated. Basically what happens in this is the 3rd person is heard by the characters. So the narrator is heard by Marik and Bakura. So, thanks again, and enjoy!

A rated M theifshipping fan-fiction by me, AHEM.

Once there was a thief named Bakura.

"Hi."

He had pure white hair which was ironic due to his dark personality.

"I take that as a compliment."

Bakura also had a terrible fashion sense which could be described as a blue and white horizontally striped T-Shirt, skinny jeans and blue converses.

"My fashion sense is the best you've ever seen. You're just in denial that you could never pull this off!"

And just for that Bakura, I'm making this "M" rated.

"Wh-what?"

Bakura also held a dark secret.

"I do?"

He had a deep lust for someone.

"WHAT?"

That someone happened to be Marik, the tomb-keeper.

"No way!"

But things would never work out simply because Bakura was a tomb-robber, and Marik was supposed to protect his tomb that he kept.

"Oh geez".

And thus the story begins! It was a lovely day in the tomb Marik protected. The tan Egyptian hummed little songs as he walked through the corridors he had come to memorize through years of tomb-keeping, while twirling some of his light, sandy blond hair.

"I strictly sing! And I only sing Lady Gaga, thank-you very much strange voice emanating from nowhere!"

Okay, fine! Marik was singing a Lady Gaga song as he patrolled his tomb.

"Yes! And you must be specific, what song by Lady Gaga?"

Uh, Telephone? Ah, I mean Telephone! Marik was singing Telephone by Lady Gaga as he patrolled his tomb twirling his hair, blah, blah, blah, details, details.

"Yes, I already sound like a great antagonist!"

Of course you do, Marik, of course you do.

"You say that as if I'm not the antagonist..."

Oh really? I didn't notice. Now if you don't mind, I must introduce Bakura's role in this story.

"Oh my gosh! Bakura is in this story too? Is he the protagonist? Oh no! I don't want to be his enemy... Are we going to be antagonists together?"

Oh dear god help me! I will not spoil the story like I did last time!

"But this is your first fan-fiction..."

For your fan-base, but shut up! I wanted to sound professional but you had to ruin that didn't you? That is it, I've had enough!

"Oh no, if there is one thing I've learned, it is to never make the author angry..."

Oh and you sure did that! Now you are going to get it! Just then, Bakura fell from the ceiling, making the Egyptian jump back in fear.

"Oof!"

"I fall from the ceiling! Really?"

"I didn't even know he was falling and now he is sitting on top of me!"

Oh my gosh...

"Can I have a redo? I would like to jump back in fear instead."

No Marik, I do not have a big enough budget for a redo. What happens, happens. Now, Bakura had come to this tomb for a reason. His usual reason for entering tombs was to steal, but for this specific tomb, he came to watch Marik from above in the rafters that I specifically installed for Bakura so he could fall off them.

"Oh, thank-you, I suppose I fell off the rafters from your doing as well."

Well I did say I had a small budget, so, yes, I did shake the rafters. But, anyways, Bakura fell on Marik and now the pale stalker-

"Stalker?"

"Weeeell, you were watching me Bakura..."

"Stay out of this Marik!"

You know, this is why most authors make their "voice" seen but not heard. Hmmm, that sounded better in my head then written."Oh, thank-you, I suppose I fell off the rafters from your doing as well."

Well I did say I had a small budget, so, yes, I did shake the rafters.

role in this story. But anyways, Bakura jumped off of Marik and tried not to act as embarrassed as he felt.

"Embarrassed? I do not feel embarrassed!"

Well you do now. And just to add to this, Bakura's cheeks turned a light shade of red, in a blush.

"I do not blush!"

And Marik could only look up at his surprising guest that stood before him. Marik got up from the stone ground, wiping some sand off his clothes.

"Wait a second, why am I back inside a tomb? Didn't I get out of the tomb already?"

Well you came back to…. Remember your childhood.

"Why would I want to remember my childhood? It was filled with abuse and lots of whipping! And don't get me started on the snakes!"

Ah, snakes. Do you have a fear, Marik?

"Uh, maybe. Why do you ask?"

The suspicious Marik looked at the ceiling, hoping to see me, his worst nightmare. Just then, I decided to release a snake into the tomb after Marik.

"You what? Oh Ra, a snake!"

Marik, in complete and utter fear, ran behind Bakura, using him as a shield from the snake.

"Oh, please. Marik, it is just a garden snake. See? No big deal."

Bakura leaned over then allowed the slim, green, garden snake to slither up his arm.

"Bakura, no! That is what she wants you to do!"

"Marik, you're overreacting."

The snake circled around Bakura's arm, then morphed into a giant Python!

"Wait it what?"

Bakura looked at his arm then-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Bakura started shaking his arm to get the snake off yet it did not work.

"Wait, wait, wait, you are basically writing this to torture us, aren't you?"

Well, not at first. You made me angry, so I made your life hell. Oh, and Bakura is running back and forth behind Marik, shaking his hand at rapid speeds, making a _certain_ Python very angry.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Oh, shut-up Bakura.

"Well, excuuuse me, but there is a huge snake on me… And now it is around my neck! AHHHHHHHHH!"

This fan-fiction has taken a turn for the worse all right…

"I don't even have the snake on me, and I can agree with that."

Well, this is not going to work for me. I made a bet with my friends that I could write something rated "M."

"Well maybe Bakura and I can help."

"HELP? SHE SENT A SNAKE AFTER ME!"

Well it was supposed to go after Marik; you are the one who interfered.

"Marik, don't trust her! AHHHHH, THE SNAKE WON'T LEAVE!"

Well Marik, what do you have planned?

"Well it goes like this…"

Marik started whispering to me as Bakura started hitting the snake with a stick that was conveniently placed in the tomb.

Several hours later Marik and I made a deal. Thus I will win a certain bet! HA take that, AmiLearntobeLonely…. Err I am sorry for that outburst. Ha, ha, well, Bakura does not know so let's see what happens. Marik woke up first.

"Ah, what a night!"

Then, Bakura woke up.

"Wha? What happened to the snake?"

Oh, I took care of the snake Bakura.

"I will never trust you. Where am I?"

"Good morning, Bakura! Did you sleep well?"

Marik hugged Bakura.

"What? Whoa, why are we in the same bed? Where are my pants?"

"You didn't need your pants last night, Bakura, my sweet."

Bakura's jaw dropped in sheer astonishment.

"W-what d-did we d-do?"

Don't you remember Bakura?

"Yeah, don't you remember?"

"I will not believe this! I will need proof!"

Bakura jumped out of the bed and grabbed his jeans off a chair. He quickly pulled them on and stormed out of the room, still buttoning his pants. Ha, we sure fooled him.

"Yeah."

How did you get his pants off?

"That information is classified."

Ooookaaaay, I'll pretend I never asked.

"So what bet did I save you from?"

Having to sing Shakira songs on karaoke night!

"Why wasn't I invited?"

Simply because I do not have any money to get you out of Japan, or Egypt, or wherever you are. I mean, I didn't even have money to get a redo in a fan-fiction.

"Ah, I see. Well, have fun; I have to go tell Bakura that he did not actually take my virginity."

Okay, he will probably like to know that. Meanwhile, downstairs of Marik's house, Bakura was sitting on the living room couch, his knees held tightly to his chest. He was wondering several things, such as; did I do what I think I did? And, how did I get from Egypt to Japan, in such a short time?

"Stop sharing my thoughts! I know you had something to do with this!"

Bakura shot up from the couch; he began to frantically look around the room, looking for me. So I decided to leave him be.

"Hey, don't you leave! I haven't gotten revenge!"

The End!

"I will send your soul to the shadow realm, you impudent mortal!"

The moral of this story is, "Oh, shut-up Bakura."


End file.
